Norfolk City Hall Stinks

That’s the buzz.

An odd and unhealthy smell began to emanate from City Hall at the beginning of September, before the weather began to cool.

Public Works’ technicians and engineers speculated it was dead rats in the cooling and heating system.

Unofficial observers, who asked not to be identified, said the dead rats sat on City Council.

Further investigation found that these malcontents were refused tax credits and waivers of fees for their pole-dancing bar in the Arts & Design District.

“I deliver performance art, and they refused me,” said the owner, who asked not to be identified.

Staff at City Hall called in sick or decided to take a few days of vacation, complaining about the smell.

Oblivious to the obnoxious odor, Norfolk City Council convened and kept setting the course of the city’s future.

Even City Manager Marcus Jones was immune to the smell, getting worse every day. He ordered staff to remain at their stations, but they refused.

According to someone close to the situation, the smell emanated from the chambers of City Council members.

A spokesperson for the city refused to comment, saying it was inappropriate to discuss the personal habits of City Council members.
Mayor Paul Fraim said this was an attempt to discredit the decisions by City Council. City Council member Terry Whibley said there’s no scientific proof for the smell.

City Council member Paul Riddick said it was a conspiracy to discredit his respectable tenure on Council.

Vice Mayor Anthony Burfoot excused used himself from meetings for the month of September, saying he would be out of town.

City Council member Andy Protogyrou called for an investigation while Tommy Smiegel immediately posted the controversy on his Facebook page and his Web site. 

Angelia Williams, the other woman on Council, was silent.

An in-depth investigation of the smell revealed that the air conditioning broke down Sept. 11.

Facility Maintenance said it was a 50-year old fan that finally broke down. Bearings were flown in and a machinist had to manufacture a massive shaft from stainless steel, according to a prepared statement issued by the city.

Thanks to quick action and hard work from all involved, the fan was operational again after three days, the city said.

It still doesn’t explain the smell.