Tragedy strikes Norfolk's schools

The Center for Disease Control has declared an emergency in Norfolk.

Gov. Bob McDonnell has called out the National Guard.

Local reservists of all military branches have been mobilized.

Initial reports indicate that 14 schools have been quarantined and no students, teachers or administrators are allowed to enter or leave.

The press has been barred from school grounds.

Norfolk police have arrested several protesters for trespassing on school grounds, citing The Patriot Act. 

Hundred of protesters have converged on City Hall, demanding answers.

“Save the children” placards jam the courtyard of City Hall.

Mayor Paul Fraim, Vice Mayor Anthony Burfoot, Superintendent Samuel King, school board members and administrators are locked in a panic room at City Hall and won’t respond to the public outcry.

President Obama, according to the lame stream media, threatens to place a dome over the city unless Teachers, Administrators, Curriculum Directors and the school board can find answers.

Obama, the press reported, even threatened to bring in the National Education Association, prompting an outcry from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

“We don’t need unions to solve our problems,” an unidentified chamber official said. “They only make the situation worse.”

US Navy ships and submarines have departed Norfolk. A Dept of Defense spokesman, who asked not be identified, said no time or date has been set yet for their return, pending a resolution of the problem.

Homeowners, fearing the worst, have put their houses on the market and fled to Virginia Beach and Chesapeake where the schools have been deemed safe by local health and educational officials.

An unidentified member of the Norfolk school system said this situation is “abysmal.”

Early test scores of the Standards of Learning, or SOLs, at Norfolk schools have fallen short of state requirements.

The annual exam measures student achievement in English, math, science, and history  and determine schools’ accreditation ratings.

The CDC suspect a virus has infiltrated Facebook, Twitter and other social media and infected students.

CDC officials have narrowed it down to sex-texted, according to early reports. But the CDC denies the report, says it’s irresponsible to assume sex-texting is the cause.

A spokesperson for the mayor said a tax hike is needed to raise the test scores of all Norfolk school system students.

The tax hike will finance the construction of four new schools, the spokesperson said in an email.

One City Council member said “new technology is the well-spring of education and our children will learn if we provide them with new technology.”

When questioned by a reporter, the City Council member said: “If you asked me an intelligent question, I might answer it.”

The reporter was later fired for asking a stupid question, according to people familiar with the situation.

Guards have been stationed at the borders between Norfolk and other cities. The Downtown and MidTown Tunnels have been closed.

Travelers rejoice, knowing they don’t have to pay tolls.

Pressed for answers, the Norfolk Federation of Teachers said: “We love our jobs. We love the salaries. We love babysitting the children every day. We love the innovative teaching methods administrators give us ever year. We love our old, decrepit schools. We live in wondrous times.” 

Published by Indie News Network LLC