Norfolk to get sexy

Freedom, at last, for arts+design district

What a surprise.

Last Tuesday, Norfolk City Council unanimously approved a name change for a downtown district from Downtown Cultural and Convention Center District to Downtown Arts and Design District.

In one deft stroke, proponents of an arts district got what they wanted. Whether they will get more remains to be seen. 

It is a surprise because the local press didn’t crow about this change.

It’s also a surprise because if one looked at the City Council agenda for May 21, you would have no idea that in planner-speak an amendment to a zoning ordinance created in a few convoluted sentences a “downtown arts and design district.”

Here’s the agenda item.

Would you have guessed that this item was about the much ballyhooed “arts and design district?”

Public hearing scheduled this day, under State law, public notice having been inserted in the local press by the City Clerk, on the application of the City Planning Commission to amend the Zoning Ordinance of the City of Norfolk, 1992, to amend Chapter 2 by adding definitions and replace and reordain Chapter 8 regulating the Downtown Districts.

Sex and Design. Forget pigs and chickens. 

Whoever wrote this agenda item has my undying praise.

This was a neat piece of paperwork manipulation.

Seriously, this was slick.

Whether this was presented as such to avoid more public input (opposition) or not, one will never know, and one can only debate this topic at Colley Cantina or at the Taphouse Think Tank.

But it’s a done deal.

Proponents who have stumped, promoted, pitched (and pitched a fit when anyone thought this idea was bunkum) must be delighted.

Their names are known.

Kevin Murphy

Hannah Serrano

Jesse Scaccia

Clint Daltonfashionablefun.com

Mike Day

Marissa DiGirolamo

Anne Knox

Patricia O’Neil

Stacy Ortiz

Careyann Weinberg

Thom White

Tina Wright

Don’t forget these names.

Somehow, some way, they will cling to this “arts and design district” like sweat on a hot and humid Tidewater night. 

Never have I seen so many names attached to a zoning amendment or change. Even a hike in the tax rate never engendered such exuberance and community participation.

Opponents: none.

I suspect that the agenda item confused opponents, since they are Philistines and can’t read, write or understand art and design.

We’re just into guns, buns and beer.

Forgive us for even thinking that an arts and design (design?) district was an idea that should have been dumped in the Elizabeth River and forgotten.

But the ordinance spells out new rules.

Naturally.

You can’t have a district or zoning change without new rules – to serve the latest special interest group.

After hours membership organizations and commercial drive-throughs (bye-bye banks) are not permitted in the “arts and design district,” or D-4.

Auto and truck repair, indoor flea markets and warehouse and wholesale operations are only permitted by special exception – in other words, City Council decides the fate of your business.

But the city will embrace antique stores, breweries and wineries, consignment shops and used book stores and media sales.

By right. 

Other goodies are in the ordinance. But you can read them here.

New rules. Imagine that.

Perish the thought. Or think of perishing. 

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

GBS

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

Ezra Pound