Norfolk's troll cars and the 11-minute marathon

Norfolk's new ticket trolls

 In less than 11 minutes, the light of the sun reaches the earth.

In less than 11 minutes, we could reach Mars traveling at the speed of light.

In 11 minutes, we could lose a loved one or gain a lover.

In 11 minutes, we could have a heart attack or a stroke running to our car to feed the parking meters in Norfolk.

Have you ever sat at the D’Egg having coffee or breakfast and suddenly realized you only put a quarter in the parking meter?

What happens?

Your conversation stops. You rush to your car. You feed the meter. Or you plead with the parking ticket Fascist to please not give you a ticket.

Naturally, they ignore you, tell you they are just doing their job and write you a ticket. Then they squeeze into the latest version of a troll car and speed down the street.

11 minutes is all you get for 25 cents.

At one time, you could get 30 minutes for 25 cents.

A bean counter, thinking of such things because that’s all they live for, calculated that 11 minutes would net the city more money if they reduced the time and kept the price at 25 cents.

Essentially, this was a price hike.

But no one noticed or complained when it sailed through City Council several years ago. 11 minutes for 25 cents.

Not 10 minutes or 15 minutes. 11 minutes.

An hour isn’t divided evenly by 11 minutes. It comes to 5.4…

I can’t fathom the reasoning behind this division of cents and hours.

The public can’t either. Nor do they care.

What they care about is the deadline of 11 minutes. Even calculating 11 minutes in your head is more confusing than calculating 15 minutes or 10 minutes.

But we have 11 minutes per 25 cents.

The city could just lift the time to 30-minutes for 25 cents.

Better yet, the city could get rid of parking meters and put up signs saying 1-hour parking available.

Even better, get rid of these parking restrictions entirely.

No one wants to park in a garage and walk a few blocks to their favorite restaurant, store or coffee shop.  

Sure, you could go to the mall and park, but that will cost you. 

Recently, the city bragged about its new fleet of “smart cars” for its meter marionettes. 

“The Smart Cars are perfectly suited for a downtown, urban city,” said David Freeman, Director of General Service. “Not only are the vehicles a cost-effective option to our current fleet, but our employees can do their work in a comfortable and safe environment.” 

Environmentally sound. But will you survive the accident?

The fleet of 11 Smart Cars cost $141,000, the city said.

The City of Norfolk’s self-sustaining parking fund covered the cost, so no taxpayer dollars were used, according to a city statement.

The fuel-efficient vehicles average about 40 miles to the gallon, are built with 80% recycle materials and include four years of maintenance, the city said.

Here’s a better idea and it’s more “green” than the troll cars.

Have the ticket trolls ride bikes. The cops do it. So why shouldn’t they ride bikes as well?

It’s good exercise and it costs the city a lot less than the troll cars, despite their “smartness.”

Think of the money the city could save.

Think of the exercise.

Better yet, get rid of the parking meters. Send the trolls back to Middle Earth.