10 ways to raise money for public art in Norfolk

Stage a mud wrestling contest between Veer publisher, Jeff Maisey, and Altdaily adversaries Jesse Scaccia and Hannah Serrano. Jeff doesn’t need a tag team partner. Take down. Raw!

Listen to a reading by our leading lefty intellectual, Tom Robotham and future candidate for Norfolk mayor, of his recent column on race, the Virginian-Pilot and hush-hush.

 Hold a tug of war over a pit of slimy mud between Lori Crouch, Norfolk spokeswoman, and all the media she loves and cherishes, especially The Daily Newswanger. Bob Batcher is second string substitute.

Win a chance to dunk Jesse Scaccia in a tank filled with water from the Elizabeth River. He must wear a floral-print bikini.
 
Win a chance to dunk Norfolk Mayor Paul Fraim in a tank filled with whipped cream. He must wear a suit and a silk rep tie. 

Stage a pie eating contest with gluten-free pies baked by Dr. Lucy. 

Hold a kickball tournament – Norfolk City Council V. the World. City Council member Paul Riddick is excused from playing. He will referee instead. If City Council wins, taxes can be raised. If they lose, they have to host a keg and wine barrel party at city expense.

Have Zack Miller of Have Hatch will Hatch and future candidate for Norfolk mayor walk a tightrope between City Hall and the new Courts Complex. In a toga.

Stage a real burlesque show at the Granby Theater. Tommy Arney could supply the entertainment. 

Invite Team Better Block back for an encore. They can parade around Norfolk in chicken and pig costumes handing out tickets to the contests.